Monday, November 29, 2010

I'm a little more than useless

Okay So.
I realize thats it's been awhile since I posted on this thing, but it's exam time and I'm sometimes an inconsistent person.
It's recently come to my attention that over the course of the past six months my life has almost completely changed.
Which is I guess to be expected, you know since moving out of my house into the city, enrolling in a new school, and living with a bunch of people I've never known prior to Frosh week is a bit of a change.

But Not Even That.
For the first time in my 18 years of exsisting, I've had my first exposure to real life, at least as real as university life can be. But this frightening revelation has taken place; I'm not who I was six months ago...

I realize the incredible cliché that is what I'm discussing, even more so because I"m blogging about it, but none the less I can't shake the feeling that I've gotten more than I've bargained for.

I've seen friends come and go, bridges burned and ties severed. I've let people down and I've been let down. I've seen some doors close but I"ve also been given some amazing opportunities.
But the most strinking thing about leaving home has been having to face who it is that I really am, and how I'm supposed to get to who I want to be.

It's funny to me now that at one time I thought I had everything figured out. Only to come to University and realize that I"m completely clueless.

There are days where I hate who I am.
There are days where I wonder if life could possibly get any better than this.
There are days where I want to crawl into a dark hole somewhere and never come out.
But there are also days where I see hope in tommorow and what life could be like one day
If I can somehow muster the courage and tenacity to pursue my heart's desire.

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